In the latest episode of the drama “I Can Still Play,” Keyshawn Johnson is mulling over the idea of leaving the broadcast booth and returning to the field. If we are unable to reach him by phone, IM, text message or email, maybe Deion Sanders will call him and give him some friendly advice. I’m sure Primetime could tell him a thing or two about how washed up a guy can look after he’s sat on his butt doing sports analysis for a while.
But you just know that Bill Parcells is down in Miami right now telling Me-Shawn that he could still contribute. How? Could he lecture the Dolphins’ players for hours about how great he think he used to be? Will he serve the team by constantly reminding their wide receivers that they aren’t, nor will they ever be, as good as Me-Shawn thinks he was?
I found this gem of a story over on Yahoo! Sports. (You know the one…the guys who are hoping that Bill Gates doesn’t come in and sell them off piece by piece. Yeah, those guys!)
“I like challenges,” Johnson told Yahoo! Sports on Monday. “The challenge of helping to turn a team around, to help get it to the next level, that gets my competitive fires burning. I have the itch, and right now I’m trying to decide how strong that itch is.”
Not that you’ll be listening to me, Me-Shawn, but if that itch gets too bad, buy some Lanacane! Deion came back and bombed. Sure, you had a good season in Charlotte in ’06 before you hung up the cleats. But, there were signs then that you had slowed down. To make a comeback now would mean starting over again some 18 months after the fact.
I can’t imagine Johnson being a positive role model for any young player. What will his message be? Tell them to throw you the damn ball? And if he does return will this mean he’s going to play wide receiver or tight end? And when the Dolphins’ quarterback (and they hardly have one now) isn’t throwing him the damned ball will he complain?
Me-Shawn, if you won’t listen to me maybe Bill Parcells will (doubtful).
Bill, just say no! Okay? Do us all a favor and tell him he doesn’t need the damned ball!