Two All-Beef Patties And An Injured Arm
By John White
Sometimes, fact truly is stranger than fiction.
Pro Football Talk originally relayed a story on Saturday regarding Broncos’ wide receiver Brandon Marshall. It seems that he slipped and fell in his home and put his arm through the front of his television.
"Maybe the given explanation is the truth, but it’s hard not to be skeptical. In the past, multiple pro athletes have gotten themselves hurt at home — and then they’ve offered up flimsy excuses as to what really happened.We’ve got a feeling that there’s more to this particular story. Maybe we’ll find out more, possibly with the aid of Coach Kevlar’s polygraph machine."
Well, we did find out more. Adam Schefter of the NFL Network reports that Marshall fell as a result of slipping on an empty McDonald’s bag.
"Marshall apparently tried to brace his fall with his arm and put it through the television entertainment center. “It’s funny because I pride myself on YAC (yards after catch) and being one of the toughest players to take down once I have the ball in my hands,” Marshall said. “So for the next couple of days I’m going to take the time to build my confidence back up after allowing that McDonalds bag to take me down.” His arm will be in a cast for two weeks. It’s uncertain how many stitches he needed."
Maybe that bag wasn’t empty. Could there have been some special sauce remaining in that bag? Could a pickle slice have caused this fall? Maybe it was a combination of the cheese and that really nasty lettuce they use.
Whatever it was, this brings up some questions – does Brandon Marshall not clean up after himself? Does he normally leave empty fast food bags just lying around his house? And why was he eating something so fattening if he’s planning to show up at mini camp in shape?
Next time, Brandon, you may want to consider Chinese. But you might slip on a fortune cookie so that could be a bad idea. Forget I mentioned it. But you could eat at the kitchen table.
Just a thought.
We have more news in Quick Hits…
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Free agent Quinn Gray says he’ll sign with the Texans.
Free agent Trent Dilfer told the congregation at Northside Christian Church in Fresno Sunday that the Raiders have shown interest in him.
Broncos G Ben Hamilton (concussions) has been cleared for football activities.
Bengals re-signed exclusive rights free agent WR Glenn Holt to a one-year contract.
Free agent CB Benny Sapp will visit the Vikings on Monday.