Carolina Panthers fans, we’re ready for part two of our hateration series!
In this installment, we’re going to cover the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
There was a time, a long time, when the Bucs were the loveable losers of the NFL. They could do nothing right. They were an embarrassment to the NFL and a sure-thing “W” for any opponent.
Then they changed those hideous uniforms (the ones that were so orange and ugly that I learned to like them), hired a jackass to coach their team and won a Super Bowl. Oh, yeah, even more importantly, the league decided to put them in our division when they realigned.
Now we have to hate them. The top ten reasons to hate the Bucs follow the jump.
10. Let me get this straight. You did have the ugliest unforms in the league prancing around in your orange and darker orange (or was that red?), then decided to change them. Now, it’s red, black, orange, white and pewter. Pewter? Are those uniforms or candlesticks? Come on! You wanted to change the unis and the best you can come up with is pewter?
9. The loveable loser tag can make others feel sorry for you. Shoot, it can even gain you some fans. But it’s hard to do when you give up on some future Hall of Famers. I’ll give you a great example – Steve Young. Anybody remember him? The Forty Niners’ fans remember him.
8. Here’s a fact for you – No team that has lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the regular season has ever gone on to win the Super Bowl. It’s known as the Tampa Bay Curse. How bad do you have to suck for that to happen? Think about it. You’re so bad that you were beaten by the Bucs. Therefore, your season has been washed away and you no longer have a shot at the Super Bowl. Ouch!
7. There aren’t enough reasons to dislike you so you decide to go out and sign Jerramy Stevens. His rap sheet is so lengthy that there isn’t enough room to enter it all here. And I don’t feel like typing it all or even copying and pasting it and wasting space for it. See his lengthy list of brushes with the law here.
6. We have to hate them! We play them twice a year!
5. Jon “Chucky” Gruden. If there’s no less loveable coach on the planet, I haven’t found him. That grimace on his face never goes away, he looks like a chucky doll but thinks he’s the Hulk and he’s just an all-around jerk who deserves the hatred. Remember what the guy had to say to Chris Simms? That’s just the latest reason I can think of to dislike the guy.
4. That stupid ship in the end of the stadium – what is that? Did Jack Sparrow run ashore in Tampa, Florida?
3. Speaking of the ship that is taking up space, do you have to fire those cannons to the detriment of my hearing after each Buccaneer score? From the Buccaneers’ official website – “Additionally, eight cannons celebrate Buccaneer touchdowns by releasing thundering cannon fire, smoke, confetti, mini-footballs and a variety of Buc merchandise into the stands.” Is that necessary?
2. Two words – Warren Sapp. Maybe I should remind everyone reading this that Tampa is where Warren played first. You know the guy. The one that received no love from Kris Jenkins. We’ve documented our lack of love for Warren here before. I’ll not belabor the point.
1. Jon Gruden. Yes, we dislike him so much that he made the list twice. From the grimace to the stupid little visor, we have decided that we just don’t like you, Jon.
The Buccaneers deserve our utmost hateration.