Latest Case of "Blogger's Disease" Confirmed

The latest case of “Blogger’s Disease” has been confirmed.  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has deemed this disease to be an internet phenomenon that could reach epic proportions should no action be taken immediately.

Medically, the disease is referred to as cranial rectitis (an individual with their head buried deep within their own nether regions).

Most recently, the malady chose as its latest victim a young man who blogs for NFL Mocks, a man by the name of Daniel Evans.  Evans apparently displayed the most telling symptom of the disease Monday when he posted his latest 2009 NFL Mock Draft.

Dr. Hans Gruber, of the Nakatomi Institute of Ignorance and Bliss has been aggressively studying the disease since the first case was discovered about two years ago.  The first victim of the dreaded Blogger’s Disease was Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk.  His case was so severe that he was hired to propogate his ignorance through another, and even larger, outlet on the net at The Sporting News.

Evans presents some serious challenges for the medical profession.  Where Florio was allowed to continue unchecked yet was artificially contained within a limited role, Evans could become more popular with his limited and somewhat stilted views, thus, spreading the disease to others.

A mock draft at this time of the year must be based solely on the finishing order of all NFL teams.  Keep in mind that the Carolina Panthers traded their first round pick to the Philadelphia Eagles.  The latest mock draft posted on Evans’ website has the Eagles picking fifth in the ’09 draft.

Dr. Gruber says that this kind of blogging is the most egregious enemy of those who are susceptible, “In the age of information and the ease of gathering information through the internet, this is the most dangerous form of blogging and the most damaging.  Many will accept what Evans has written as the gospel and could, therefore, become infected.”

If others are infected and come to think of the Carolina Panthers as the 28th best team in the NFL, the consequences could be disastrous.  Tragically, more craniums could be lodged deeply within nether regions across the nation.

Spreading ignorance of a 28th-place finish for the Panthers is certainly a terrible error yet Evans has already provided a glimpse of the severity of his disease on another occasion when he ranked the Panthers 23rd in a power ranking post on his blog.  That was June 29.  His latest symptoms suggest that his case may have become aggressive and inoperable.

The CDC has issued a warning to those who surf the web, “We encourage anyone who patronizes these sites with regularity to proceed with extreme caution.  Read all materials with a critical eye and be careful to separate fact from fiction, lack of information from ignorance.”

Tragically, says Dr. Gruber, most cases end with the victim suffering the rest of their lives with this chronic illness.  “I’ve seen many of these cases.  A doctor can only do so much.  You can pull the patient’s head out of there but, so often, their head finds its way back in.  Popping it out can only help if there is continuing treatment and rehabilitation of those who suffer from it.  When information is missing, only education can help them but many of them keep their heads buried up in there to avoid the truth.  Therein, lies the tragedy.”

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Tags: Blogger's Disease Carolina Panthers Cranial Rectitis Mock Draft

  • Daniel Evans

    John next tme I will let you draw the teams names out of a hat lol. This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on the entire Fansided network. If you can’t laugh at yourself then who can you laugh at?

  • AZScott

    Good stuff John!  This is the most entertaining piece to come out of Carolina since, well, the Steve Smith fight. LOL  Seriously, it’s good stuff.  I think it’s ridiculous to be talking about 2009 Mock Drafts right now.  Christ, let’s just get through the pre-season.  Don’t we have enough to talk about there??  LOL  Have a good one.  Scott

  • BBoggs36

     Great post. You should try your luck at making a power ranking. Its harder then you think. Plus its hard to be honest and not put carolina at the top. If i where you id wait but it would be something to read about.

  • John White

    Thanks, guys!  This one took all the brain power I had left so my comment here may come out sounding a little incoherent.

    Daniel, I’ll be glad to draw the names out of the hat next time.  Just make them all Panthers and it’ll be right!  LOL!!!

    Scott, agreed that mocking the drafts now is premature but it sure gave me something to post here.

    BBoggs, I put together a power ranking that was posted, ironically, on the NFL Mocks website.  I think I ranked the Panthers in the top 15?  Not sure now.  It’s been a couple of weeks.

  • Ian – Inside the Iggles

    I hope that turns out to be the case. Seriously I really hope the Panthers have the worst season in franchise history. I am rooting hard against the Kitty Cats.

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  • John White

    I can’t say I rooting all that hard for the Iggles either.  But I do sense some hostility here.  Is Santa Claus here?