Aug 22, 2013; Baltimore, MD, USA; Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton (1) drops back to pass in the first quarter against the Baltimore Ravens at M
The Carolina Panthers offense this preseason has been disappointing to watch to say the least.
First year offensive coordinator Mike Shula’s new offense has been called “vanilla“, “lacking personality“. and having “no rhythm” so often you would think we were talking about the nerdy kid at the school dance instead of an NFL offense.
But the Panthers have only 743 yards of total offense in three games this preseason. That’s 743 TOTAL yards on offense . Panther fans have seen little of the excitement on offense that we saw toward the end of last season – no wildcat formations, no read option plays, no flair. So exactly what is going on and what needs to be done to help the Panthers offensively?
After the game against the Ravens last Thursday night, I was “tweeting” with other Panther fans and lamenting that 143 yards from scrimmage was all the offense could muster in this, the third game of the preseason. With everyone standing around scratching their head and me somehow hoping that Mike Shula is the ultimate poker player and waiting for the regular season to show his hand, a fellow Panther fan told me that his “snarky 15-year old daughter” had a plan to fix the Panther offense and that she intended to share it with Panther GM Dave Gettleman and owner Jerry Richardson.
Well, I thought, at least here was someone who had a plan that they felt confident enough to share with the Panthers front office.. and it did not include firing the offensive coordinator. My friend was gracious enough to share a text version of his daughter’s letter and I felt obliged to share it with other readers. Here it is in its entirety:
Dear Mr. Gettleman and Mr. Richardson,
My name is Victoria Alexander and I’m a fifteen year old Panthers fan from Greensboro, North Carolina.
I’ve been watching the games with my dad since I was a baby, and as I’ve grown up I’ve started taking more of an interest.
We had a couple of great seasons when I was in elementary school, with exciting players such as John Kasay, Steve Smith, Julius Peppers, and Brad Hoover. However, there was a bit of a lull after a certain playoff game in which a certain one of our players had a bit of a tough time.
These past few years, with the recent acquisitions, along with the development of remaining players, we have the potential and talent to make a deep run into the playoffs. We’ve had a couple of rough breaks with injuries, but I believe we can do it.
After watching the game against the Ravens (defending Super Bowl champions) this past Thursday, August 22, I have developed an easy, 5-step plan for winning the Super Bowl.
1.) Aside from Cam Newton, Steve Smith, Jordan Gross, Ryan Kalil, and Greg Olsen, release everyone on offense. The defense can do both for a little while. Keep Brad Nortman, J.J. Jansen, and Graham Gano, he’s got a rocket for a leg.
2.) Put a lot of resources into working on the players’ fitness, because they’ll obviously be working pretty hard on both sides of the ball.
3.) Restructure contracts with the remaining players. As a motivating factor assure them you’ve got a brilliant mastermind working on this surefire way to get to the Super Bowl.
4.) Use all the salary cap space you have left to sign all other 31 teams’ best players.
5.) Win the Super Bowl and get lots of money, along with a trip to Disney World.
I hope you consider this plan. I can be reached at [address and phone redacted] with any questions or concerns.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for your hard work and planning to make this team great. Here’s hoping to a Super Bowl win this year, regardless of whether you use my plan or not.
What do you think football fans? Personally I love the idea of the players playing both ways.
Old school stuff. I can hear it now… “Starting at Middle Linebacker… and Fullback, LUUUUUKE Kuechly!
Thanks for the copy Papa Lex and thank you, too Victoria!
Keep Pounding, young lady. You might just have a future in sports!
And If you get the GM job, don’t forget us little people.