I ran one of these 10 Reasons to Hate lists a couple of weeks ago, and it received a lot of attention! So we’ll see what Bengals fans have to say on this beauty. But there won’t be hate this time around. Instead, I’ll provide 10 reasons to laugh at the Bengals. I didn’t do one last week for the Buccaneers. I felt bad for the team that finished last in the division, as I was uber-confident that Carolina could beat them. Well, I was wrong. So they’ll get a list before the next meeting. I almost wasn’t going to do one for Cincy either, but this one was my inspiration to give the Bengals some special attention. I kind of felt obligated, as the Bengals’ blogger at WhoDeyFans.com wasted 20 minutes of his life on our 0-2 team. (more…)

#5 – Now that T.O. has his own reality show he can retire with all his ladies.  By the way, has anybody seen these women.  T.O., man come on…you can do better than that.  Go ahead and play one more season then you can start your own podcast online to go along with your “reality” show.

#4 – Jerry Jones is looking kinda worn nowadays.  Of course, having to deal with T.O. and Pacman Jones at the same time is enough to make anybody go completely gray.  The nice thing is when Jerry does retire he will be able to list “Owner and Coach” on his accomplishments with the Cowboys.  Oh wait…he’s not the coach; ahhh…heck he might as well be.

#3 – Vinny Testaverde should definitely retire.  Hold on here…he did retire.  How can I forget that abismal season when the Panthers dug down into the cellar and pulled Vinny out of his recliner to “try it one more time”.  Hey Vinny, listen bud…don’t even think about coming back again.  Brett Favre just took your only hope of a return (unless Tampa Bay’s quarterbacks really suck…which they do…hahaha).  Breaking news:  there is still hope for Vinny in Tampa Bay!

#2 – Well Plaxico Burress involuntarily retired for a couple years because of his own stupidity.  But he could come back in a couple of years and play for the Eagles so he can retire with Michael Vick and they both could earn their NFL pensions.

#1 – You know I had to go there.  Brett Favre should retire again this year so that ESPN will have something to talk about next year.  Heck…he could do this for another 4 or 5 years and give ESPN all kinds of fodder for their Sportscenter anchors.  What will we do if Favre actually plays two years in a row?  I guess we will have to wait for another NFL player to shoot himself in the leg…or take steroids…or drink openly in public…or get a DUI…or get in a fight at a nightclub…you get the idea!

The NFL holds its scouting combine every year in Indianapolis.  Each draft-eligible player is studied and prodded like cattle.

Add to that a Thug Test.

Achievement Metrics claims it can forecast whether college prospects are at greater risk for future off-field problems by dissecting their speech patterns from media interviews. Automated text analysis is conducted through a computer model that measures more than 100 different factors, including the use of individual words, adjectives and verb tenses.

So, when you hear a kid say, “Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!”

That’s minus 3 points right there.

Hearing, “I like to give the opposition an offer they can’t refuse.  Then I punk ‘em!”

That’s minus 5 points.

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