Studs ‘N’ Duds
By John White
It’s Thursday and you know what that means! No, it’s not Must-See TV. And it’s not just the day after American Idol has voted off another singer. It’s time for Studs ‘N’ Duds!
NOTE: For those of you who are new to the site, this is when we fill up some space with nonsense because the offseason is so slow and boring. Unless, of course, you spend your day looking for the latest NFL news by scanning police reports.
That may be fun and everything but we like to provide you with some time away from all of that to break up the monotony.
Studs
David 1, Goliath 0
This has to be my favorite story of the week! Must be why I’m putting it first.A Georgia man felt the wrath of
Walmart
when the behemoth company
against him for using smiley faces that resembled theirs on some t-shirts. The man was selling them on the web but wasn’t really looking for profits.
That’s when the man put a rock in a slingshot and slayed the giant with the help of the courts.
A judge ruled in his favor saying that he wasn’t using the smiley faces to gain a profit but, instead, was making a political statement.
Almost as funny is that the Walmart spokesman in the story is named Smiley. Seriously! I couldn’t make that one up.
Caution! Watch for falling giants!
Once again, the long arm of the law has grabbed another offender.
A Texas man has been charged for selling vodka without a license. But what makes his brand of vodka so special is the extra added ingredient – a dead, 10-inch baby rattlesnake. YUMMY!
Maybe he thought the special ingredient would add a little extra kick. And maybe he was selling it to those in the Asian community where they believe that snakes have the qualities of an aphrodisiac.
The liquor salesman will only face misdemeanor charges. He won’t be charged for selling the snakes or for bottling them up.
A record was broken at
Ultimate Fight Night 13
on Wednesday when
James Irvin
knocked out
Houston Alexander
in 13 seconds!Sure, you can argue that the fans didn’t get their money’s worth but
13 seconds
?!
There were complaints that the referree stopped the bout too quickly since everyone was there to see a little more blood. And there could have been more seeing as Irvin already had Alexander pinned on the mat and was pummeling him mercilessly.
Alexander complained that he had recovered from hard shots before and that he could have gone on. And I guess it’s possible he could. But now we’ll never know.
Still, a record was set and don’t we all love records?
A group of third grade students are apparently
– making
license plates.Nine of these little ankle biters (boys
and
girls) conspired to get even with their teacher in a small Georgia town recently. Each of them had been assigned a job.
One would guard the door, one would clean up afterwards, and one would cover the windows so no one could see inside the classroom.
It all started when the teacher had scolded one of her students for standing in a chair.
Now, two of the curtain climbers have been arrested on juvenile charges and a third arrest is expected.
They grow up so fast don’t they? It’s amazing. One day you’re changing their diapers and the next they’re consipiring to commit a felony. It just goes by so fast!
Filed under luckiest man on earth –
Andy Roddick
, the current number six tennis player on the planet is planning to marry a 20-year-old model.Her name is
Brooklyn Decker
.
It pays to be handsome and be able to hit a little, squishy, yellow ball around really fast with a racquet.
While he’s with her, we’ll just have to rely on our jealousy to keep us warm at night.
Danica Patrick
is not only a full-fledged hottie but her competition also thinks she’s just too darned skinny.Drivers on the
Indy Racing League
circuit have complained that Patrick is too light and
that her lack of bodily girth gives her a competitive advantage on the track.
So, one of the least popular sports in the civilized world has given in. They’ve amended the weight rules on their cars to include the driver.
Maybe they would prefer that she eat a few bags of donuts prior to each race.
Seriously, don’t they realize that Danica Patrick is the only reason that anyone turns on their TV to see one of these races? And you just know every man watching is hoping she’s the one who gets doused with champagne in victory lane.
Not to mention getting to see her drink milk in Indianapolis.