The Department of Corrections Issues Statement

The blogger for the Dallas Cowboys, the team I will forever call the Department of Corrections, has fired back at the Carolina Panthers. This just gets better all the time.

To argue that Steve Smith has a chance to become one, if not the one, best receiver the NFL has ever seen is just plain ridiculous. What is more ridiculous is this prophecy didn’t come from the blogger himself, it came from Smith’s arrogant mind. So, I offered a shot of reality in the post here. Don’t get me wrong, Smith is a good receiver, but he is not the greatest ever nor will he ever be the greatest ever.

Reading comprehension skills must have hit an all-time low among Cowboys’ fans.  I’m certain that in my original article that I simply pointed out what Steve Smith needed to do to place his name among the all-time leaders in receptions and yardage.

Yes, I used a little hyperbole in the title but that wasn’t the intention of the article and I won’t apologize to someone who simply won’t read what is written there.

The attack from within the razor wire-surrounded compound got worse.

My opinion though led to a rampage from the Carolina Panthers blogger. His response was so viscous, so cowardly, that he had to make outright lies to boost the self-esteem of these meek fans. And once again, someone levels an attack on Jason Witten. Other NFL teams have become so envious of Witten that their fans have to lower themselves to these levels of disgust and embarrassment.

I was vicious?  Cowardly?  How?  I didn’t attack Witten or the memory of any cocaine-driven Dallas wide receivers.  I simply pointed out how far Steve Smith has to go.

As for Witten, well, simple.  He’s not the best tight end in the league.  Period.  That’s a matter of opinion.  They’re wrong and I’m right.  There’s nothing vicious about that since it’s a fact.  I’ll put him in the top three but not first.  Any football fan with an IQ higher than that of a mushroom knows that the best tight end is Antonio Gates.

There are no plans to copy the rest of their pathetic little post here but they did go on to ask 7 silly little questions of Panthers fans.  I thought I would ask a few of my own:

1.  Just how many felons do you have on your roster now?  Is your next game versus Michael Vick’s prison unit?

2.  When did you last beat Carolina in the playoffs?  Let’s see…when was that…oh, yeah!  NEVER!  (You’re 0-2.)

3.  Has Jessica Simpson completed her task of totally emasculating your “quarterback?”  I wonder when his choke job will begin this year.  What will it include?  One year it’s a botched snap the next it’s a rash of interceptions.

4.  How proud of Emmitt Smith are Dallas fans when they watch him on TV?  Do you all agree that he is one of the three dumbest sports announcers in the history of the universe?

5.  Who is your second wide receiver again?  Is it Patrick Crayton?  Really?

6.  How many division titles with high winning percentages do you have again?  You know the ones – when you win 12 or 13 games and go home after one playoff game.

7.  Will T.O. be the last player to attempt suicide to escape Dallas?

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Tags: Carolina Panthers Dallas Cowboys Jason Witten Steve Smith

  • Staubach

    Actually if you check the facts, Dallas is on of the lesser arrested teams in recent years. Players who had trouble before come here and behave themselves.

     Check out this list.

    Better start calling us the “Choir Boys” ;-)

  • Staubach

    In fact Carolina has a lot more arrested guys in recent years than Dallas does!!!!

  • Staubach

    As for your other comments

    1) The Jessica Simpson thing is annoying. She must be something in the sack for him to put up with all this! ;-)
    2) Well we also have a great announcer in TroY Aikman.
    3) I think one of our second receivers will surprise. Jones must have seen something to let Glenn go.
    4) We do need a breakout year or risk being called “next years champions” which the team was called in the 1960′s

    Now keep YOUR Panthers out of jail will ya? ;-)

  • John White

    I’d say Jarrett’s DUI is a lot less serious than knowingly signing a guy whose actions led to someone being paralyzed pales in comparison, wouldn’t you?

  • Staubach

    Well a DUI can lead to a serious injury too.

    I think a few Dallas fans were surprised at the signing. All we can say is I hope the team has a zero tolerance policy with this guy and I think they do. We have Tank as well. Seems like they are doing something right to keep these guys from getting in further trouble

  • thelandryhat

    Carolina Panthers: 12 player arrested since 2000.

    What was that John?

  • TJylloJacket Mike M

    <—mike m from the ‘Hat
    the coke machine(88) and eSmith got 3rings thats more diamonds than ya’ll can paw at, then we had to kick Dom Capers outta TX he wasn’t bigg enuff…btw, ya’ll’s jerseys are straight outta the Neon ’90s we have Stars on ours…who on ya’lls D can handle a Marion the Barbarian stiff arm?? get trukked Pansies!!

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