Dear Brett Favre,
I’m writing to tell you how wonderful I think you are! I have all nine of the Sports Illustrated magazines that were graced with your likeness on the cover. By the way, I think there should have been more like 1000 of them! But I have nine magazines framed and hanging on the wall in my bedroom. It’s the perfect place to hang them. (I won’t tell you why but I think you already know.)
The day you retired was the saddest day of my life. No longer would I be able to see your beautiful face on my television. ESPN talked alot about you after you left in tears that day back in March but that just made me sad because I knew you wouldn’t be coming back. I cried almost everyday after you retired.
Those terrible people up there in Green Bay were downright awful to you, Brett! Like they couldn’t see what you had done for them and that it would have been great to have you come back. They should be prepared to make changes for you anytime you want them to! And it’s your team anyway, Brett! Hey, you are Brett Favre!!!
Coming back to play football is great news!!!! I’ll be able to see every great play you make over and over when I TiVo the game! It’ll be so wonderful. I’m just glad that you won’t be wearing those hideous Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniforms. Pewter just would not be your color.
Green will suit you, though it will be a different shade of green than I’ve been accustomed to seeing you wear. You will look fabulous in that Jets uniform! I can’t wait for the new Sports Illustrated so I can frame it and add it to my bedroom collection!!!! (And if you’re not on the cover, I’m just going to call them and tell them to change it!)
When those big mean men are chasing you around and hitting you and the wrong guys are catching your passes in New York, you just keep telling yourself that you are the greatest quarterback who has ever played the game! You are Brett Favre!!!
And if any of those dumb old reporters start saying nasty things you just remind them of all of the wonderful things you have done for the game and that you don’t owe anybody an explanation for playing bad. Besides, you know that John Madden and Peter King will always be there to defend you – almost as much as I will!!
You go play in the Big Apple! I’ll be there watching my TiVo and thinking of how fantastically, tremendously, beautifully, fabulously wonderful you are!
Until September and our first TiVo date…
Love always and 4-EVER,
P.S. Will you marry me??