Teddy Bruschi announced his retirement today after 13 NFL seasons with the New England Patriots. After hearing about Bruschi retiring it got me thinking about who else should retire from the NFL. Here are the Top 5 people who should retire from the NFL:
#5 – Now that T.O. has his own reality show he can retire with all his ladies. By the way, has anybody seen these women. T.O., man come on…you can do better than that. Go ahead and play one more season then you can start your own podcast online to go along with your “reality” show.
#4 – Jerry Jones is looking kinda worn nowadays. Of course, having to deal with T.O. and Pacman Jones at the same time is enough to make anybody go completely gray. The nice thing is when Jerry does retire he will be able to list “Owner and Coach” on his accomplishments with the Cowboys. Oh wait…he’s not the coach; ahhh…heck he might as well be.
#3 – Vinny Testaverde should definitely retire. Hold on here…he did retire. How can I forget that abismal season when the Panthers dug down into the cellar and pulled Vinny out of his recliner to “try it one more time”. Hey Vinny, listen bud…don’t even think about coming back again. Brett Favre just took your only hope of a return (unless Tampa Bay’s quarterbacks really suck…which they do…hahaha). Breaking news: there is still hope for Vinny in Tampa Bay!
#2 – Well Plaxico Burress involuntarily retired for a couple years because of his own stupidity. But he could come back in a couple of years and play for the Eagles so he can retire with Michael Vick and they both could earn their NFL pensions.
#1 – You know I had to go there. Brett Favre should retire again this year so that ESPN will have something to talk about next year. Heck…he could do this for another 4 or 5 years and give ESPN all kinds of fodder for their Sportscenter anchors. What will we do if Favre actually plays two years in a row? I guess we will have to wait for another NFL player to shoot himself in the leg…or take steroids…or drink openly in public…or get a DUI…or get in a fight at a nightclub…you get the idea!