Happy Birthday, Michael Turner!


Michael Turner, we here at Cat Crave would like to be among the first to pass along our best wishes on your birthday!  We hope that your day is filled with joy and that you have many more returns.

Plus, honestly, we couldn’t help but think how wonderful your birthday could be if you could join us all here in Charlotte, NC while you go to work for our Carolina Panthers.

An interesting thing is happening here with the Panthers – they’ve decided that they want to become the Pittsburgh Steelers.  They want to be big and physical, and a power running game would fit that mold nicely.

That’s where you come in.  Your 5’10” 237 pound build and your 4.4 speed could really be lethal behind a big, nasty offensive line (one that we are sure to build), while paired with our world-class wide receiver, Steve Smith!  This could be a great match!

Just think, everyday would be like your birthday.  Come to think of it everyday would be like Christmas for us too!  And just think of the new coin flow you would have in your bank account!  Shoot, man, you’ll be able to buy yourself an expensive gift each day of the year.

So, again, Happy Birthday, Michael Turner!  Hopefully next February 13th we’ll be able to stop by your house in the ‘burbs of Charlotte (and there are some really nice water-front properties in this area provided the lakes don’t dry up completely due to the drought) with a sheet cake!