Darren McFadden: One Prolific Daddy!
By John White
Yes, sir! The NFL Combine produces a lot of stories. Player X saw his stock drop today. Player Y really helped his paycheck with that 40 time. Player Z twisted his ankle getting out of the cab on the way to the workouts.
But none is as entertaining as the proliferation of Darren McFadden’s seed.
A report today from Pro Football Talk tells us that D-Mack is facing his character issues head on. That’s good to know. They tell us that he’s speaking plainly in his team interviews during the combine about his past. And he’s vowing to change.
The problem isn’t that McFadden has tested positive for drug use, or had a DUI or even that he’s been in a strip club making it rain. No. The issue surrounding the Arkansas running back is his apparent inability to figure out what is making all those babies!
"There also are rumors among NFL scouts that McFadden already has four children via four different mothers. A source with knowledge of the situation(s) contends that two of the paternity claims have been proven to be inaccurate. In any event, the source says that McFadden is committed to doing the right thing in any situation where it is established that he has fathered a child."
Could this be? McFadden, a prolific rusher in college may have been nearly as prolific in the baby making department too. So, two of those babies may not be his. What about the other two?
Are we talking about a character issue here or a simple lack of knowledge of prophylactics? Maybe the biology department at the University of Arkansas isn’t doing such a good job of educating their students.
Where things could get interesting is when McFadden becomes a pro. There’s a rumor floating around that Jerry Jones would like to make him a Cowboy. (Check out the story from our buddy over at Phin Phanatic, Brian Miller)
Well, if this deal gets made, someone needs to alert the Census Bureau. They’ll need to count up the residents of Dallas prior to D-Mack’s arrival so we’ll have a fair assessment of the impending baby boom.
There is so much to look forward to here and so many questions to answer:
– How long will it take before we see McFadden dating some blonde bimbette who will be seen on the field prior to a game talking to him and Tomy Romo?
– Will there be a section big enough to hold the McFadden extended family and will D-Mack be allowed to reserve that many tickets?
– When the pick is made will Jerry Jones make an announcement similar to Cam Cameron’s from last year when he introduced the fans to one of the dumbest first round picks in history? It could sound something like this…”The Dallas Cowboys just drafted the McFadden family, and the Johnson family, and the Smith family, and the…”
– Will Jerry Jones make baby wipes and diapers part of McFadden’s signing bonus?
– How many years will pass before a book is published by one of his many offspring?
– Can the NFL maintain its stance on not allowing their players to endorse products like condoms? With Jones’ penchant for marketing he could have Darren working all the time and could even find a way to sell the naming rights for his new stadium, Trojan Field.
The possibilities are endless! And if it’s not Big D it’ll be another city and a whole new set of possiblities.
I, for one, can’t wait for McFadden’s time in the NFL to begin. But if he winds up in Carolina, we need to issue the warning to all our women. That’s one prolific daddy and he’s on the loose!