Warren Sapp Retires
By John White
Somebody! Quick! Call Kris Jenkins!
Warren Sapp is calling it a career. A story in the Charlotte Observer today confirms that Kris Jenkins’ favorite player is walking away.
"Warren Sapp’s 13-year NFL career officially ended when his retirement was posted on the Oakland Raiders’ Web site.Sapp said immediately after last season that he was through playing, but did not file the paper work. The posting on the team’s site was the first official word that the star defensive tackle was done.In January, the 35-year-old Sapp posted a two-word message on his Web site: “I’M DONE!” He had told teammates and coaches his plans after the season finale against San Diego."
He’s done alright. His last act on a football field was to draw three personal fouls in a game versus Jacksonville in the next-to-last game of his career. Sapp was fined $75,000 by the league and suspended. What a warm and fuzzy way to end a career, huh?
And who can forget the hatred that our very own Kris Jenkins holds for Sapp?
"“I hate him. Everybody says I’m supposed to be polite when I talk to you all, but I hate him,” Jenkins said. “He talks too much, he doesn’t make sense, he’s fat, he’s sloppy, he acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. He’s ugly, he stinks, his mouth stinks, his breath stinks, and basically his soul stinks, too.“Not too many people have personalities like that and survive in life. I don’t know how he does it.”"
Ah, yes! Feel the love! Somewhere Elton John is singing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight!”
Jenkins’ comments aren’t terribly unusual. Consider some highlights from Sapp’s career:
It was Sapp who nearly put Chad Clifton out of the league with a vicious hit after an interception versus the Packers. Mike Sherman, the Packers’ coach at the time, confronted Sapp after the game and told him what a cheap shot it was. Sapp, of course, disagreed.
And just yesterday, one of Warren’s most bitter rivals, Brett Favre, retired. I doubt they’ll be walking off into the sunset together. It seems that irony and the NFL do go hand in hand afterall.
After Sapp’s announcement on the Raiders website, neither Jenkins, Clifton, Sherman nor Favre will need to worry about their least favorite player with the stinky soul.
Buh, bye, Warren! Sorry, but if I was going to miss you I would say so. Do us a favor and don’t take a job as a TV analyst. PLEASE!