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Super Bowl Monstrosity Revealed!

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It’s why they play the games.  This is the reason that every player plays the game.  They want this.

During the offseason, visions of this very thing dance through the heads of every NFL player, GM, coach and fan.  And for a brief time, even up to a few weeks into the season, most of them feel that they have a chance to have one.

Last season, after starting off looking like a team headed for an early vacation, the New York Giants got their act together.  They picked up their level of play and steadily improved throughout the season.  They marched through the playoffs after hitting their stride and finally vanquished the Evil Empire, the New England Patriots.

Click “Continue Reading” to find out what “it” is and what “it” looks like!

To the victors go the spoils.  And one of those spoils, besides the trophy and the bragging rights is a ring.

That’s not just any ring either.  The players get to help design this thing.  They sit down, talk about it, spitball ideas and eventually, their design is sent in to a very reputable jeweler – Tiffany and Co.

The design that was sent to this world-famous diamond dealer was…well…in two words a monstrosity.  In fact, Michael Strahan had asked for a “ten-table” ring that, as he put it, could be seen from ten tables away in a restaurant.  Strahan got his wish alright!

We’ll show you the ring in a bit, we promise.

"“There was some discussion about maybe one of the rings was too big,” said center Shaun O’Hara.“I threw out the fact that it was a big win, it was a huge win, so the ring should be designed accordingly,” O’Hara said. “Michael said it best when he said he wanted a 10-table ring. I think everybody is going to be very pleased with the design. It is very clean, very classy, but at the same time it is very strong.”"

Oh, it’s strong alright.  And it’ll take a very strong individual to wear this thing.  Good Lord, who has a finger big enough for it?!  Or is it a bracelet?

I’m guessing some night out on the town with this 1.5 carat thing on your hand could cause a scene from more than ten tables away.  Shoot, it could cause a scene from ten blocks away!  And I’ll also guess that the individual wearing it might require bodyguards and a police escort not to mention a sling for the arm it’s resting on.

Did I mention that picture is actual size?  Okay, I’m kidding but not by much. WOW!

I make light of the ring, of course, because my team doesn’t have one.  We haven’t earned it either.  Soon enough, my friends!

And when we win ours we’ll be able to prove to the world that the South ain’t what it used to be.  We’re all sophisticated now.  And when our Carolina Panthers earn their rings, I’m sure our rings will have like…well, I’m drawing a blank right now, but they’ll have something cool on them, I’m sure!  Yeah!

Hurry up Panthers!  Win that Super Bowl!  I’m gonna want a cubic zirconia copy of the original that you design.  And I want a 50-table ring, if you don’t mind!