Studs ‘N’ Duds

I love the offseason. Fans can relax and don’t have to worry from week to week about their team winning and losing. There’s no pressure on them to have to defend the team they love after an embarrassing defeat over the weekend.

Plus, we’re all back on even ground. Everybody has no wins and no losses. Hope and optimism fill the air…unless you’re in Detroit.

So, let’s take our weekly break from the rigors of NFL news, headlines and DWI arrests. It’s time for another edition of Studs ‘N’ Duds!

Studs


Them Tars Ain’t No Dad Burn Good!!
I said last week that the NASCAR season hasn’t officially started until a driver and team had been found guilty of breaking the rules and faced the wrath of the sport. WRONG!It actually hasn’t started until a driver has stepped up during a post-race interview and spilled his guts! I mean spit the truth, tell it like it is, gripe, moan, yell…the usual. And who is better to count on for this first tyrade than Tony Stewart.

Like him or love him, Ol’ Smoke can always be counted on to spice things up!

Hey, we ain’t done, ya’ll! There’s more Ding Dang Studs ‘N’ Duds! Just click right thar on that thar dad burn little doo-hickey!

Now That’s A Blog!

A Russian blogger has been charged with inciting police police hatred.

His comments were stupid and insane including statements like the police are “uneducated representatives of the animal world.” WOW! Not exactly the smartest thing to say on the net, huh?

But just how popular does this guy’s blog have to be now? He certainly followed the three russia.jpgstep process to success in the modern world:

1. Become a non-entity. Write, produce or record something for which you hope to receive public attention.

2. Get into trouble with the law and make a splash in the newspapers.

3. After release from your Siberian prison cell, become a public icon and make mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money!

The po-po (police for all your non-street types) shoudl be at my house in about a week.


Somebody Has Hit the Lottery!Well, sort of.Somebody, was lucky enough to come up with the most famous steroid-infested homerun ball in history!barrybonds.jpgThe ball that the ‘Roided One hit over the fence for his 762nd homerun was retreived by a man by the name of Jameson Sutton, a 24-year-old man from Boulder, Colorado.

He had to fight for the ball, of course. I’m sure there were others present who had shot a few ‘roids in their backsides that day. The most famous one was rounding third about the time that Sutton was getting a grip on the homerun ball.

Now, this lucky dude will be auctioning off the piece of drug-induced memorabilia to the tune of about a million bucks.

Maybe this will help run up the price of the size small jersey I have that Bonds used to wear way back in the day when he was still human.


DudsGilligan, Little Buddy, Do You Know This Woman?Our childhoods have now been shattered completely – at least for those in my age bracket.gilligan.jpgI used to think that Mary Ann (played by Dawn Wells) was much hotter than Ginger when I wasted a weekday afternoon watching Gilligan’s Island. I mean, she was the girl next door. She was a hot little chick.

Now, she’s on probation for possession of marijuana. It’s a probation that will last six months. They even dropped three counts – driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance.

Perhaps she was just trying to wipe out memories of those inappropriate glances from the Professor. Maybe she just couldn’t forget how the Skipper was almost always there when she was swimming in the lagoon.

Either way, those of use who grew up watching little Mary Ann will forever be scarred. I’m off to see my therapist tomorrow.


I’m So Excited That I Have to Go Lay Down!We have the ACC Tourney, the NCAA and the Final Four to look forward to.After that, not so much.mlb.jpgSoon, there will be an excuse for me, and many Americans to find a place to lay down and get comfortable. We’ll need it. Afterall, the MLB starts up for real soon – the league that ain’t the NFL.

It’s the perfect fix for insomnia.

I’ll just turn on TBS, turn down the volume and find my way off to Dream Town! Good night!


Totally Irresponsible Journalism/BloggingI ain’t Russian and I don’t think this will make me a famous blogger. It just makes me irresponsible and stupid. It also means that I may be living in the past.Remember the days when Dad watched channel 13 and it was only one of three or four the antenna would pick up? And swtiching the channel with the big knob on the TV also meant that you had to go out and be the one who had to turn the antenna that was bolted to the side of the house?Back in those days, horrible, awful things like cigarrettes could actually be advertised on TV. And nobody complained! Here’s proof.

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Tags: Barry Bonds Jameson Sutton Mary Ann Russian Blogger Stud N Duds Tony Stewart

  • jaybird

    Tony’s a cry baby! He might be right about the tires last week, but he still a cry baby. I hope his but loses at Martinville and Darlington, I go there every year with my entire family, which is about 28 folks that are what I call racenecks!