The Can of Worms Is Open!


The gloves are off.  No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Look, I wrote three posts here that pointed out the top ten reasons to hate the teams in our division (Falcons, Buccaneers and Saints).  I figured it would be good for entertainment.  Shoot, it might even be enough to start a good debate.  I didn’t count on this.

Of all the teams’ fans, the last group I expected a bunch of hoo-ha from was the Saints fans.  After all, what have they had to cheer about?  Well, that’s what I got.  Feedback came flying at me.  (Just see the comments after the post on the Saints.)  Now, some blogger who I surmise to be a foul-mouthed fan has done gone and done it.  Must have been a case of drunken blogging.

I had tried to keep my ten reasons from going into the extreme.  I didn’t feel the need to abandon a good-natured ribbing.  This chick (I think) has crossed a line of good taste.  Sure, she displays some wit but still finds little that can be defended about possibly the worst franchise in league history.  Let’s break it down.

10. Uniforms!Baby blue and silver? I’m sorry, is that a football jersey or a wizard’s costume?

(Trick question. The answer is actually hidden option 3, the color scheme of a pre-op drag queen’s long sequin coat when he/she takes the stage for his/her big number. Work it sistas!)

You have got to be color blind.  That’s anything but baby blue.  Besides, when is the last time you guys updated those rags you wear?  Who was president then?  And the “big number” you mention would never include any gold lame’, would it?

9. Your mascot’s name is “Sir Purr.” Not to stick with the gay theme, but c’mon. How gay is that?

Our mascot?  This is what you throw at us?  Your mascot is Gumbo the Dog.  Um…yeah!  What would a dog have to do with a team called the Saints?  Did you guys go to the dogs before the Falcons did?  Gay?  A cat is gay?  I’m sure it’s a lot more gay than a cuddly little puppy dog that is wearing a backwards baseball cap whose biggest defense (see CBS Sportline) is to lick people to death!

8. The “Who Gives a [Expletive]” factor. It’s a sad, sad day when your most recognizable player is a quarterback who’s as old as your coach.

This as opposed to having a player whose greatest strength is hawking every product known to man.  He’s obviously not a great football player since all he’s good at on the field is avoiding contact.  The guy made an all-overrated team recently.

7. Skanky cheerleaders. Who could forget the classic case of the classy TopCats cheerleaders who got accused of bumping beavers in a bathroom stall and beating up a security guard? And we thought those drunken fans with whiskers painted on their faces took their love for pussy too far. Sheesh!

Yeah, let’s bring up something that happened more than 2 and a half years ago!  Besides, what man doesn’t love that story?  We’ll take that critcism anyday.  Ya’ see, we consider that one a positive.  Men all across America (including in New Orleans) were glued to their TV sets waiting for an update on that story.

6. Sloppy seconds. First Sam Mills, then Jake Delhomme. Your team is like the dude who goes after the hot chick, only after she’s been banged by the stud from a rival school and dropped like a hot rock.

Who is your quarterback now?  Um, did the Saints draft him?  Nope!  Your starting middle linebacker had to be drafted by the franchise, right?  Nope!  This one could go on all day.  Every team in the league signs free agents, don’t they?  (And you attack the most revered player/coach in our team’s history?  Have a little respect for the man and the battle he fought, would ya’?)

5. Your cheerleading roster is a virtual “Who’s Who?” of butter-faces. We won’t call out names because that would be mean. But we will provide you with the link to check them out for yourselves. (Paper bag needed to place over their heads for sexual fantasies not included.)

Right!  Your cheerleaders are hotter than ours!  Yup!  Sorry, I’m a guy and I count no more “butter-faces” on either squad. The only difference in the two groups is that I count one more on your squad.  Have your eyes gone bad?  Shoot, the average man never sees a cheerleader’s face anyway.

4. You actually started David Carr. Nuff Said. Actually, not nuff said. Allow me to point and laugh at you for a moment…

I’m going to have to take a very deep breath here to be able to list off all the losers your fine franchise has started at the most critical position on the field.  I’ll start with putting both Aaron Brooks and Jeff Blake ahead of Jake Delhomme who is a real starting NFL quarterback.  Forget it.  I don’t feel like typing the names of the dozens of losers who have passed in vain for the Aints.

3. On a list of reasons why your fans hate the Saints, the murder rate in New Orleans shows up. Seriously, you can’t find 10 even mildly football/team related reasons to hate a division rival? But now that you’ve opened the door for attacking a rival team’s city…isn’t it funny that even with the high murder rate and being in recovery mode from a major natural disaster, we still attract more tourists in a year than Charlotte does in a decade? How shocking! I mean, who wouldn’t want to come to Charlotte to check out the er…um, uh…Well, I’m sure you have like a botanical garden or something…right?

I might give you this one.  Maybe.  Except for one thing.  The murder rate in New Orleans was high way before Katrina.  Sure, I feel for what the city has gone through since then but don’t act as if there was no crime there prior to that one event.  I sure never said that Charlotte was a tourist’s paradise but I’m not sure I wouldn’t choose it over a city where I just might lose my life.

2. Only the Panthers could boast a roster with the likes of Julius Peppers, Steve Smith, KeyShawn Johnson, and John Kasay and still not make the playoffs in 2006. You sirs (make that “sirs purrs”) are the masters of suckery.

And in 2007 the Saints boasted a roster that included a second-overall pick (Reggie Overrated Bush), Drew Brees, Marques Colston, Deuce McAllister and Will Smith and failed to make the playoffs.  In fact, the Saints not only finished ’07 with the same 7-9 record that the Panthers had but also officially finished behind Carolina in the standings with all those “great” players.

1. The most memorable thing about your Super Bowl appearance was the .05 seconds when we saw Janet Jackson’s nipple.

The most memorable thing about the Saints’ Super Bowl appearance was…oh, wait!  You guys haven’t been to the Super Bowl before!  In fact, in the Saints’ 41 years of existence, they have made the playoffs 6 times and have an overall 2-6 record in the postseason.  The Panthers have existed for 13 years and have been to the playoffs 3 times and have an overall record of 6-3.

Check!

Tags: Carolina Panthers Drew Brees Jake Delhomme Reggie Bush Top Ten Reasons To Hate The Saints

  • http://www.blackandteal.com Jeanne

    Insulting your colors and mascot is like insulting the Jaguars because there is about a 10% difference between us in that respect.  You got blue, we got teal. You got Sir Purr, we got Jackson De Ville (who are both awesome because they got in so much trouble).

    However, I am torn. Lady football bloggers gotta stick together. And Jacksonville does have a pretty high murder rate, too.

  • John White

    You’re right.  In that respect our franchises are quite a bit alike.  Coming into the league together also gives the teams something in common.

  • Saints Fan

    Response

    10) The saints have updated/tweaked their uniforms multiple times, it seems about every 4 years they do so.  This point just comes down to watch color combination is better suited for a NFL football team.

    9) I don’t believe she was saying cats are gay.  It is my opinion cats are in fact quite cool.  However, the name “Sir Purr” is quite comical.  If you owned a cat, and you are a heterosexual male, would you name him “sir purr”?  I seriously doubt it.  On the other hand, “gumbo” is a decent name for a dog.

    8) I kinda agree on this point, but only so far that its sad that Bush is now our most recognizable player.  It should be players like Brees, Duece, or Colston (who are all below the age of 30).  Hopefully Bush will rebound, I’ll reserve judgment on whether he’s a bust until this end of this season.

    7)  Yeah, guys were excited to hear this story until they actually saw pictures of the cheerleaders (see point 5).  Most guys lost interest as soon as they saw the busted faces of these girls (really busted when compared to most NFL cheerleaders).

    6) I think the point was to say the Panthers consistently pull players from our team.  I can’t remember the last free agent we got from San Diego besides Brees, and the only reason we got those free agents from Dallas was due to Sean Payton coming over here.  But don’t feel bad, Atlanta feeds off our free agents also.  Lastly, and most importantly, I don’t think you need to lecture saints fans about Sam Mills.  He was a staple in New Orleans for much of his career, as a member of one of the greatest linebacking corps of all time and gets only the highest respect from our fan base.  He went to Carolina to finish up his career, a fact that many Panther’s fans seem to forget (see statue outside of stadium).  Don’t get me wrong, I think he deserves a statue (I don’t understand why he doesn’t have one in New Orleans), but its like the Chief’s erecting a statue of Joe Montana outside of their stadium.  Anyway, Mills was a great player and a great human being.

    5) I think this statement was a result of the incident in statement 7.  You’re right, most guys don’t see cheerleaders’ faces…until they’re post on ESPN after that bar incident.  And those faces in particular were quite ugly.
    4) I agree that this is a weak point, especially since Carr beat the Saints last year.  However Carr is statistically one of the top five worst QB’s of all time.  See http://www.pro-football-reference.com/blog/?p=545.

    3) First of all, I don’t think she was claiming there wasn’t a high murder rate before the storm.  Everyone knows there was.  However, the rate has significantly improved since the terrible times of the mid 90′s.  If you manage to get shot in New Orleans these days, you were either asking for it or you were in a part of town you shouldn’t have been it.  Crime now is very localized to areas of town few if any tourists venture to.

    2) Um…of the people you list, Bush had a torn PCL most of the Season, Duece had a torn ACL most of the season.  Anyway, i admit this point is pretty stupid as 4 great players don’t necessarily equate success for the whole team.
    1) This point was also pretty weak as that superbowl was actually quite exciting, and yes saints fans have no room to talk….YET!!.

  • http://www.blackandteal.com Jeanne

    There’s a feature on the Jaguars’ website where the senior editor takes in questions (Ask Vic). Vic explained once that our teams have a lot in common because they considered a lot of the fads of the time (the teal/blue colors, for instance). Also, I guess people like cats or something. Or maybe they just really like Mac opperating systems.

  • John White

    Another ten?  Okay!

    1. Thank you.  You may not have the room to talk for a long time too.
    2. Injuries are an excuse?  I thought at least one of the players she mentioned with the Panthers had been injured too.
    3. Crime is localized to where?  The citiy limits?  I’m okay if I stay in the French Quarter, huh?
    4. David Carr isn’t exactly a good argument since he started due to injury.  We were desperate.  Who would you start if Brees got hurt?  Mark Brunell?  He’s like 75 now, isn’t he?
    5. We don’t see the cheerleaders’ faces.  In this case they looked bad after a night in jail.  Name someone who would look their best after a night in the hooskow.
    6. If Carolina (or any team) didn’t sign players from New Orleans, the players would continue to be misused – like Jake for instance.
    7. See number 5.
    8. With his 3.5 ypc average you might want to get the judgement ready for the end of this season.  He’s not a total bust since he could still play out wide and catch passes but he’s not the great RB everybody thought he was.
    9.  I would not name a cat Sir Purr.  Speaking as a heterosexual male I think that would be quite, um, well, you know.  But I think a mascot that claims to have the “power” to lick its enemies to death is far more suspicious.
    10. Updated and tweaked?  To what?  A wider black stripe on the pants?  And I guess silver is no longer acceptable on an NFL uniform?
  • John White

    Ya know, Jeanne, I think I’d almost like to see the Panthers go to a slightly darker blue to get away from that mid-90′s look.

  • Anonymous

    Q: Why are Carolina fans late to every Panther game?

    A: They’re still waiting for the announcer to say “GENTLEMEN! START YOUR ENGINES!!!”

  • John White

    Anonymous, I’m gonna give you that one.  That was funny!!!

    I got one for you…

    Q:  Why are New Orleans fans early to every Saints game?

    A:  They were running from the stray bullets and looking forward to getting inside to safety!

  • Anonymous

    Q: Why can Panther announcers never land a national NFL broadcasting gig?

    A: On a national level, the endzone is not referred to as the finish line, the sidelines are not called to as pit row, and an NFL coach is not called a pit manager.

  • John White

    Funny stuff, Anonymous!

    Q:  Why do the Aints always seem a little unprepared on draft day?

    A:  They’re still waiting for Bobby Boucher to graduate and become draft eligible.

  • Anonymous

    Q: Why do Panther fans prefer Arena Football to the NFL?

    A: NFL players typically don’t crash into the wall.

  • John White

    Q:  When do the fans of the visiting team leave New Orleans?

    A:  When the city cleans the streets in the morning, they’ll pick up the bodies.

  • Anonymous

    Q: What player does all of the Panthers fanbase wish were on board?

    A: Dick Trickle.

    /come on, don’t you DARE try to tell me you wouldn’t get that jersey.
    http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/5890/trickleyc7.jpg

  • W from New Orleans

    The main reason why I hate the Panthers are because their fans are the biggest bunch of bandwaggoners I have ever seen in my life.  I from experience.  My Mom and Step father live in Charlotte and when you went to the SB in 05 it was amazing how many Panthers fans there were and when I went down there it got rubbed in my face constantly being a Saints fan.  Then when you returned to mediocrity, I couldn’t find a fan.  None of my Moms neighbors or friends knew anything about the team.  Go figure. 

  • http://blackandteal.com Jeanne

    To be fair, I don’t think that is something unique to Panthers fans. We all have bandwagon fans.

  • Drew

    to W from New Orleans-

    Every team has its bandwagon folks, and of course a town gets caught up in the hoopla of a Super Bowl.  I can understand how anyone from New Orleans wouldn’t understand that, seeing as how yall haven’t been to one.  And we rubbed it in your face because it was the first time we’ve ever had the opportunity to do so, we’d never met a real live ‘Aints fan before, usually nobody else would admit to it.