Studs ‘N’ Duds
By John White
Spring Fever is officially here. The grass needs its first mowing. The house needs its first good top-to-bottom cleaning. And, of course, the car could sure use a good washing and a fresh coat of wax.
But before you run out to take care of all those items on your Honey-do list, stay inside with the rest of us and kill a few more minutes as we dive into the world of Studs ‘N’ Duds.
Studs.
Ain’t Capitalism Great?
Two sisters with little to do, and, apparently, a lot of time on their hands have placed a corn flake shaped like the state of Illinois up for sale on
eBay
. At first, the auction site pulled their listing since food can’t be sold on their site. But later changed their mind when a compromise was reached.
Now there is a coupon listed that would be redeemable for the flake of Kellogg’s goodness.
Can you believe the bidding reached $255 for a single corn flake? And would you believe that others started listing their Corn Flakes shaped like Hawaii and Virginia?
This must mean it’s time for me to list my rare block of Cream of Wheat shaped like Kansas.
Mark your calendars! In June of 2009 we can all run right out to the theater to see the new
A-Team movie
!There are TV shows that deserve movies and then there are those you just really hope
they don’t screw up. This is one of them.I mean
Mr. T
was such a wonderful actor I’m just hoping they can find some finely tuned Thespian actor to play his role of
B.A. Baracus
. It would be a tremendous injustice to get somebody who can’t act as well as he could. Might I suggest
J.J. Walker
?
It makes perfect sense to me. Walker would make this movie Dy-no-mite!
!
Who is the lucky gal who received this much sought after title?It’s
Sarah Jessica Parker
!
She doesn’t seem too thrilled about it and her husband is quite upset that he’s sleeping with a woman who holds this title.
It all started when Maxim ran a poll of its readership asking who they thought should be named to the crown of unsexiest woman. Parker was the winner.
And since Maxim is so well known for its wonderful articles, exquisite writing and is so widely respected for their in-depth reporting, it stands to reason why Parker, her husband or anyone would be upset over this.
I love me some NFL football. I always have and I always will. But sometimes the NFL makes me wonder what in the world they’re doing.When the rich boys meet this spring in Florida they’re going to be discussing a few issues
and one of them is hair.
The league is considering banning long hair – or at least hair long enough to cover a player’s name on his jersey. And what an egregious rule violation this would be. Imagine not being able to see a player’s name! Oh, the horror!
I would never know that was Al Harris in a Packers uniform or Troy Polamalu in a Steelers uniform with their name covered up! Thanks, NFL! This will sure help me enjoy the game a lot more!
!
Just last week we told you how no one in the Major Leagues wanted to sign
Barry Bonds
. And, of course, it was breaking our hearts.
Well, in the most recent display of a lack of affection for the ‘Roided One, the
Giants
are in the midst of removing nearly all reminders of his playing days at their ballpark.
His picture is now missing from the left field wall and in no other part of the stadium is there a mention of his homerun totals in relation to Hank Aaron.
The team plans to put up a plaque to show the location of Bonds’ last chemically enduced homerun. Other than that, not much.
The Giants are moving on without Barry and so is the game.
Next up…an indictment!